Category: Netherlands

Ice sculptures and Eindhoven

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

This year I decided that each month I’d like to visit a different city. After living in the Netherlands for 5 years, I haven’t really travelled or seen much outside of my ‘comfort zone’, ie Amsterdam. I tend to stick to what I know. I also think that all city centres really look like each other, so for me there is a lack of excitement, as it feels like de ja vu.

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Zwolle and the Netherlands Ice Sculpture Festival

I decided that I would visit the Netherlands Ice Sculpture Festival in Zwolle. I wont lie, the weather on the day was awful, it was beyond grey, raining, so much non stop rain between heavy showers and mist rain, it was wet the entire day (ie typical dutch weather but with winter added in). I was hoping to make a slight road trip out of it but the rain deterred anything that wasn’t indoors or in the car. I didn’t even see the town it was in apart from literally going to the location and then back to the motorway. The theme was ‘what a wonderful world’, however, once I was inside looking at the sculptures at no point in time did I consider it had a theme or that the theme was ‘what a wonderful world’. I wont lie, oddly despite knowing that I was going to a ice sculpture exhibition, I did not think to bring gloves or a hat. I have no idea what I had in mind as to what I thought it would be but the thought of ‘cold’ never entered my mind. It was cold, so cold! As any normal person would expect…

I did think there was an incredible amount of talent involved to crease such pieces of ice. Would I go again? No. There is something the Dutch quite simply dont do, queue. They are simply incapable of forming a line or keeping to a queue. So when you’re trying to follow the queue, people are going around you, before you… You cant simply take 3 seconds, snap your photo and move on, no before the person behind you thinks you’re taking too long and walks in front of you as you’re trying to take a picture. Its situations like this that I find quite infuriating.

During the Queens lying in state, I came across this and thought it was wonderful, so truly wonderful and so truly British. It gave me a great sense of British pride and made me think ‘f*ck me, this would truly NEVER happen in the Netherlands’.
I don’t particularly care either way about the Queen. But the queue? The Queue is a triumph of Britishness. It’s incredible.
Just to be clear: I don’t mean the purpose of the queue. I don’t mean the outpouring of emotion or collective gried or the event at the end and around the queue or the people in the queue. I mean, literally, the queue. The queue itself. It’s like something from Douglas Adams.
It is the motherlode of queues. It is art. It is poetry. It is the queue to end all queues. It opened earlier today and is already 4.2 miles long. They will close it if it gets to TEN (!) MILES. That’s a queue that would take TWO HOURS TO WALK at a brisk pace.
It is a queue that goes right through the entirety of London. It has toilets and water points and websites just for The Queue.
You cannot leave The Queue. You cannot get into The Queue further down. You cannot hold places in The Queue. There are wristbands for The Queue.
Once you join The Queue you can expect to be there for days. But you cannot have a sleeping bag. There is no sleeping in The Queue, for The Queue moves constantly and steadily, day and night. You will be shuffling along at 0.1 miles per hour for days.
The BBC has live coverage of The Queue on BBC One, and a Red Button service showing the front bit of The Queue.
NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD JOIN THE QUEUE AND YET STILL THEY COME. “Oh, it’ll only be until 6am on Thursday, we can take soup”.
And the end of the queue is a box. You will walk past the box, slowly, but for no more than a minute. Then you will exit into the London drizzle and make your way home.
Tell me this isn’t the greatest bit of British performance art that has ever happened? I’m giddy with joy. It’s fantastic. We are a deeply, deeply mad people with an absolutely unshakeable need to join a queue. It’s utterly glorious.

Eindhoven

I try to visit Eindhoven once a year to visit the Van Abbe, its their modern art museum. I wanted to visit in December and it just didn’t happen. I thought Id take the chance to see a bit more of the city, as I tend to go from train station to museum and back again.
It started with going to the Van Abbe, I must admit that I didn’t enjoy the current exhibitions as much as I have in previous years but I did have a few laughs. If you cant laugh and giggle at art, then all is lost. I then decided to visit the DAF museum. Before looking up, ‘things to do in Eindhoven’, I had never heard of DAF left alone that they had a museum. DAF is a leading global truck manufacturer with a firm focus on innovation, quality and transport efficiency. Previously they made small cars but the focus is now on trucks. The museum was interesting because it featured other brands of cars to, Im still unsure as to what the link was but interesting to see. Im really a girl when it comes to cars, gas is on the right, brake is on the left, what more do I need to know? Ok, Im not quite that bad but close.
It was nice to explore Eindhoven slightly more than I usually do. Getting lost between finding museums and seeing parts of Eindhoven I hadnt previously. The centre is must like any other large Dutch city centre.
I have previously visited the Philips museum and I wasn’t a fan. It felt to me that they missed many opportunities to showcase their achievements in technology beyond what the public know them for. It was also quite interactive for children, as I dont have children, I didn’t find it engaging for adults (or me). I had considered visiting it again but much like the DAF museum, once is enough for me 😉.
Of course I then went to Five Guys, oh how I long for Amsterdam to get Five Guys! There are a few Taco Bells around the Netherlands, Eindhoven is one of the locations, I skipped out on it (as I was rather full from FG) but regretted it on the train home… Some foods and fast food restaurants I miss and take far too much glee in finding in the Netherlands.
January – box ticked for visiting a new place, if not two!

5 Years in the Netherlands and 2022

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

5 Years in the Netherlands

2022 was my 5 year anniversary living in the Netherlands. What a 5 years it’s been, from extreme highs to extreme lows and quite frankly everything in-between. I’ve been lucky to meet some truly extraordinary people who I am honoured to now call my (best) friends (and other select words), who have created a family for me in the Netherlands. Im incredibly grateful to have met people who are as sassy, understanding, crazy and cat loving as I am.

Here are some just a few highlights from my 5 years in the Netherlands: cocktails (so many cocktails), selfie museums, staycations, surviving the pandemic (just), games nights (and virtual quizzes), bets (mostly me losing them!), concerts, musicals and museums, buying a house (and everyone helping me to to paint it!), skydiving, Wadlopen and of course, cats, my precious pampered cats.

Its been a truly astonishing 5 years… Whilst I will never see Brexit as a positive thing, I am grateful that it brought me to the Netherlands and forced me to start everything from scratch. This is the 4th country Ive lived in (also my second time in the NLs), learning Dutch has been a unique experience (I have no doubt I’ll always murder the language even though Im at level B1) and merging 3 cultures (American, British and Dutch) has not always been an easy task. I am grateful that I now call the Netherlands home and look forward to seeing what the future holds.

Every year I try to visit a place called Zaanse Schans, which is a quintessential tourist location of window mills, lots of wind mills. I take a picture and then get to compare myself over the years. Its a massive tourist attraction but there are times when you can plan it when its quiet and theres something really calming and quaint abut it.

2022

2022 seems to be the year everyone forgot Corona existed, to see how far we’ve come and yet how quickly we’ve gone back to our old ways.

What a year it’s been. Some of my highlights from the year: 3am emergency vet visit in the Hague, Friendsmas, days out, swimming with dolphins, turkey hats and laughs, there have been so many laughs! I like to think that laughter keeps me sane.

Coming from a family of scuba divers, this year I decided to officially dip my toe into scuba diving. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a fan of the ocean, I find it dirty (not in a tree hugger, think of all the plastic you use kind of way). Thanks to my germ-a-phobia I have, I think this will always be an issue. However, what I realised with scuba diving is that I get sick sea and then land sick (awesome!) for days afterwards.

After a the very unfortunate and tragic death of George last year, Callie changed. Her entire personality changed, she’d follow me around the house and would run to the door every time I would come and go. Given that Callie was never like this with other cats, I thought she was lonely and wanted a friend. Lady Penelope (Penny) joined the house, she has brought energy, entertainment and sass, shes a very sassy Maine Coon kitten. I thought Callie wanted a friend, 7 months later and Callie is yet to be fully convinced of another cat in the house and most certainly have buyers remorse on my behalf. They do play together, occasionally until Callie realises shes also too old for a kitten. Its Callies biggest secret that she likes Penny but it’s a closely held secret. I now have 2 cats with seem to be the combination of who I am, one whose rather autistic and hates change and the other whose ready to do something, between naps.

Its been a year, a year of challenges, progress and laughs.

Saying a very cheerful good-bye to 2020!

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

2020, what a year! Everyone likes to say what a horrific year it’s been; admittedly it has had its challenges but I’ve had a good year. It hasn’t been a total success, being in and out of lockdown for over 9 months now, saying ‘…I think you’re on mute’ over and over again to colleagues and adjusting to the ‘new normal’. If anything, this year has proven that most of us have a much bigger sense of humour than we ever imagined. 

2020 drink

I’m a bit of a meme queen and I adore a good meme. One of the best parts of 2020 has been the memes, hands down! Most of them are so accurate that you have to laugh, there is no other option. I’m pretty sure that most adults went through a stage of quarantine alcoholism during lockdown, no shame, it was a real thing, 95% of us did it. 

there

Lockdown and quarantine have reminded me of the Simpsons repeatedly saying, ‘Are we there yet?’ but quarantine rules are more like, ‘Can we leave our houses yet?’ over and over again! 

Working from home started at the end of March and I’ve been in the office 2 days since (in October, literally before the next lockdown was announced). It only took me 7 months but I’ve started to use my office, as an office… I loved working from my kitchen table, primarily for the convenience to the kettle. However, I noticed that my posture was getting worse, a proper chair was the answer, a colleague  suggested I just bring my office chair to the table but that would just look silly. Both the kittens and I have had to adjust to me working from the office. I took them several months to adjust to me being home all the time. The office has now been made cat friendly, a created a window sill seat for them, which gives them (and their rather large fluffy tushies) more space to sit next to me whilst I’m working, a floor mat to lie on and ensured the sofa is clear(ish) to be slept on. They are still both hopeful that I will let them out on the balcony whilst Im working, however, they need to wait til spring…. it’s going to be a long winter. I have a few more tweaks to make but I’m now content to be working on the office. 

office

What I’ve achieved in lockdown?Whilst I didn’t blog as frequently as I should have (equally not much to blog about), my year started out well and I made use of time when lock downs were eased. My DIY skills have improved, I adore my she-shed and have an impressive collection of power tools. I’m currently debating how to insulate the shed (possibly my next project?), to make it more user friendly in the winter.  My procrastination skills have become next level, I mean really there is no rush and there is absolutely always tomorrow! I’ve now ninja level of being able to keep myself busy whilst achieving absolutely nothing, as a friend likes to tell me, ‘you’re always busy doing everything and nothing’, it’s impressive and confusing at the same time.  

I completed my tick list for the year, I’m still incredibly excited to think that I did a 13,000 tandem sky dive and want to do it again! I had such good fun with friends doing Wadlopen that I’m trying to plan something for next year but I’m not sure what I have in mind will happen inline with current travel regulations. 

My friends still remain a constant source of entertainment, fun and enlightenment. I think we’ve all helped each other get through 2020, from memes to garden parties (when allowed), to joining me on completing my tick list and generally just mucking around. Im so grateful for all the memories and laughs we’ve made together this year. They continue to encourage me where they shouldn’t, laugh at my dating stories and go along with my crazy ideas, I wouldn’t have them any other way! 

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Its certain that we’re in lock down until mid-January and have been advised not to travel before mid-March, which I think will be extended quite a bit further beyond that… I have to say that I’m trying to be realistic about 2021 and currently I don’t have very high hopes for the year but never say never and given how ‘good’ my 2020, I have hope that 2021 will even be even better. Now to write my tick list for 2021… 

List complete, mudwalk done!

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

Ive had 2 tick boxes this year, sky diving and Wadlopen, Ive now completed both! Im 100% for the year, which I think makes my 2020 much better than many others.

What is Wadlopen?

During specific times of the year, groups walk across mudflats located in the Wadden Sea. You can only enter the mudflats during low tide and with a licensed guide. Mudflat walking in the Wadden Sea takes place on the shallow parts of the mudflats. You walk through the mud, sandbanks and along mussel beds, which are partly under water (it can go from ankle height up to your neck you choose to go into deeper areas). The wind can also affect the walk, as it can make the water deeper or shallower depending on the direction.

The Wadden Sea

The Wadden Sea is on the Unesco World Heritage List. It is a large continuous system of sand and mud plains, it is relatively dry during low tide allowing hikers to walk across it. It consists of tidal channels, sandbars, salt marshes, gullies, beaches and dunes. Mudflat walking on the Wadden Sea is a unique experience in a unusual nature reserve.

Why Wadlopen?

I was an exchange student in the NLs in 1999-2000 and as a 20 year anniversary, I wanted to redo Wadlopen. I decided to invite friends along to relive the memory and to make more memories. I arranged for a private guide, I would advise booking a private guide for Wadlopen, as you go in a much smaller group (no more than 12) where as organised tours can have up to 50 people and stay in the quite shallow areas of the Wad, rather than properly exploring it. Originally five friends were joining me but it was three on the day, a mix of Dutch and expats. It was such a fun experience, we laughed most of the time, which helped, we were covered in mud and the last kilometre was most certainly the hardest. We were quite literally yawning over dinner and debating who would fall asleep the fastest. Everyone else has said that their box is ticked and that never need to do it again but much like sky diving, Id happily do it annually or every 20 years, as the current timeline seems to be.

Random Modern Art

I enjoy doing exceptionally touristy things and things that are off the beaten path. I came across a list of more unusual things to do and see in the Netherlands and found a few things that I thought, ‘I must visit this attraction’, with one of them being a place called the Dutch Kremlin. A man has taken his passion of welding and art and created a truly unique garden. I insisted that we add it onto our road trip back from the North and everyone agreed, so we added 90 minutes onto the journey and ended up in a small village called Winkle. It was a great stop if you don’t take art seriously and are truly not expecting the Kremlin. Whilst we only spent about 30 minutes, many people spend an much longer taking it in and talking to the creator/owner.

Almost October

I can’t believe it’s almost October, it’s been a unique year, in more ways than one. I’m preparing to start working back in my office a few days a week, discovering what the new normal is going to be going forward. It’s been unique working from home for 6 months and having to get out of bed 05:30 does not feel with me with delight in any way. Ive enjoyed my 3 minute commute down my stairs to my kitchen table and not having to wear professional clothing of any form. Ah well, all good things must come to an end…

1 box ticked, 50% done for 2020

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

Can you believe it’s already half way through 2020? Blink again a few times and it will definitely be Christmas!

Over 3 months in quarantine and now coming out of it (maybe not for the first or last time), whilst it was quarantine for me, it did feel at times as though I was the only one taking it seriously in my neighbourhood/area. I’m certain I didn’t my house for the first 6 to 8 weeks. I have to say it has been interesting. I’ve completed all of my DIY tasks, my DIY skills have definitely improved and now sit somewhere between ok to really good, depending on the day and if I get it first time right. I have a proper she-shed now, I absolutely adore my shed. If I could just get all my tools covered in Hello Kitty, I’d never leave! I completed the cat wall and made bug screens for all of my windows from scratch. Sadly, this doesn’t mean that I’ve completed all of the tasks for the house, I’ve just completed the ones which require power tools (ie, the fun jobs).

window screens

I have to admit that having a garden and shed has provided me a bit of sanity during lockdown. Having the space for fresh air without having to ‘leave’ my house has been fantastic. I had moments where I just went to the garden to gather my thoughts and have a few deep breaths. I thought I was doing really well and was ‘not affected’ until I had two break outs of cold sores (fever blisters) within a month and one of the break outs was the worst Ive ever had. It forced me to realise that I was stressed and not coping as well as I wanted to pretend that I was. I even had a few days of pure exhaustion where I just slept 18 hours straight a few days in a row. Mental health has been incredibly important during the pandemic to staying healthy. I used the lock down time to try new things, reconsider some opinions and surprise friends with my new approach on a few topics, it worked!

Freezer cookies, Im obsessed! The concept is that you make an entire batch of cookie dough and then freeze it. You bake the cookie dough from frozen, so that you always have freshly baked cookies on the fly. It also means that as a single person, when I make a batch of cookies, I no longer need eat all 30 in one go or throw away the majority. As I mentioned, Im obsessed. One of my friends recently told me that her husband misses my baking (awww, sweet!), Ive also been splitting every batch of cookie dough I make and freeze it for them. However, this means that I now have an entire drawer in my freezer that is nothing but freezer cookies! It’s also shows despite doing a good bit of exercise Ive been doing in lock down, how I’m not coming out skinnier…. I’m blaming the cookies!

freezer

Corona has ruined a lot, it cancelled Eurovision (I’m still very upset at this), cancelled my sun holiday and delayed my sky dive. Delayed is the magic word. When I heard lockdown was easing, it was one of the first things I looked into booking. Whilst I had a few friends who initially were keen to join me, in the end, it was just me. Luckily, a friend and I turned it into a girls trip, withs lots of horrific car karaoke and laughing. She watched firmly from the ground as I was thrown 13,000 feet from a plane strapped to the front of a man. I had tried to go sky diving 12 years ago in England and she was there with me but unfortunately, do to bad weather, the jump cancelled, so it does feel as though we’ve come full circle now.  I opted for tandem sky diving, as I really don’t trust myself with my own life, it felt a much safer bet to put my life in someone elses hands! Corona rules did it make it slightly odd, as you have to wear a mask and then a piece of cloth over that, to ensure the mask stays on and then gloves, which are an absolute nightmare to try to keep on when you’re falling from the sky.

sky diving

Two things have been on my list this year to do, sky diving (tick, tick) and Wadlopen (I was able to see the area from my sky dive, which was amazing). I’m now 3/4 of the way to ticking all my boxes! I’m excited, as 5 friends have agreed to join me for Wadlopen and a weekend away in September. I thought it was an excellent idea to make it a group thing, make memories and have tons of fun…. Invites were sent out and then I realised that I never mix my friends (something I’ve very consciously never done), so panic set in that now I’m literally mixing all my friends and people are accepting the invites but dates dont work for them and now I need to host a preweekend evening for everyone to be introduced before the weekend away… What initially felt like a fun idea, has really turned into quite a lot of effort and work on my behalf. I laugh and cringe at the same time when I think about it but it will be fine. I managed to find hotels next to each other for all the rooms, transport is still a bit of an issue but yeah, I’m looking forward to it, almost as much as I’m looking forward to being done with it.

dates copy

Dating and Corona, two things which are completely incompatible and rightly so. I took the lockdown seriously but my experience is that many Dutch people didn’t. One of my friends offered to be my Corona buddy, which I still find funny. My attitude is if we’re not compatible in ‘normal’ times, I think its unlikely we’ll be compatible during a world pandemic locked in a house together. I gave video dating a go, which was unique. I think video dating works quite well for a first date, you know if you have a connection, if you have enough stuff to talk about and most importantly if you’re compatible. Ultimately if you dont have a connection, video chat or face to face, it makes no difference, theres no future.

Over 3 months in lockdown, Ive survived it, so far and am looking forward to coming out of it. Ive achieved a good bit, still have my sense of humour and ticked a few boxes along the way. Im looking forward to creating more memories and having more fun with whatever the rest of the year holds.

3 months in an ‘intelligent lockdown’

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

I realised over the weekend that it’s been 3 months since lockdown started, any plans for the near future were cancelled and I truly became a home body. The Netherlands opted for a ‘intelligent lockdown’.

What are the rules of an ‘intelligent lockdown’?

  • Everyone is asked to keep a distance of at least 1.5 metres (5ft) from other people and groups of more than three people are banned in public with a possible fine if this is not adhered to
  • People should work at home if they can and stay home as much as possible. 
  • Bars, restaurants, museums, cinemas are closed– essentially anywhere where large groups of people gather or convene
  • All organised events, such as festivals and football matches, have been banned until September 1 at least
  • BUT shops, including non-food, have not been closed, and people are still allowed to go out for a walk and get some fresh air

The idea is to give people freedom to make the ‘intelligent’ choice to stay home and not spread the virus. My experience was that expats took this more seriously than many Dutch. To the extent that on a number of weekends a number of beaches, nature reserves and parks (including the roads to get to them) had to be closed, as too many people were visiting them to allow them to keep the 1.5 metre social distancing rule. 

I chose to take the lockdown seriously and only left my house essential shopping, where I absolutely had to, I dont think I left my house for the first 2 months, thanks to online deliveries.

Whilst I was fortunate enough to remain in work, working from home rather than the office, I have to say that the Dutch government offered an excellent package to those who were unable to work. The amount of what individuals could claim ranged on the business they were in, profession, standard wage, etc. However, the average furloughed employee has been able to claim 90% of their wage.

Lock down has been officially eased in phased stages from the 1st of June, with restaurants, museums, cinemas and childrens schools returning with social distancing and other rules in place. Some businesses have now allowed employees to go back, however, the official stance from the RIVM (National Institute for Health and Environment) is to work from home as much as possible, to avoid spreading the virus.

It’s crazy to think all the plans that have been cancelled and really how life changed completely for everyone around the world. Welcome to the new normal…

2019, I’m so ready to say goodbye

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2019 has been a crazy chaotic year for me, I knew last year that it was going to be challenging and it most certainly didn’t let me down in that aspect, at all. It was officially my second year in the Netherlands and a year that saw changes in every aspect of my life.

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. “ – Nelson Mandela

The first 7 months were spent incredibly sick. No good deeds goes unpunished and I brought back an infection from my Christmas charity work in Eastern Europe. Unfortunately it took me being hospitalised to be given antibiotics that I should have been given in January with the first infection, the ‘joys’ of living in a country that really refuses to give antibiotics, even when you are legitimately sick. I think I surprised myself with being able to keep going despite feeling less than 30% of myself for such a long time and having such a utterly buggered immune system that I was literally going from one infection to the next.

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.” – H. G. Wells

Buying the house has been a big thing this year (as you’ll know from the previous blog posts) and I’m at the point where I can take a break until the Spring. I equally love and loathe my house, every time I think it’s sorted, something pops up to remind me that my work is never done and there will always be something – the joys of being a home owner (The irony still being that I bought the house on the basis that it literally needed no work doing to it).

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” — Fredrick Douglas

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My friends have become a true highlight of the year. They have proven more than once what an amazing support system I have and they truly make my life more entertaining, fun and enriched on every level. I am so incredibly lucky to be able to call them friends (and other inappropriate terms that we use amongst ourselves).

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” – Albert Schweitzer

Callie and George, my two very pampered Maine Coons, did not master potty training in 2019. George completely got it and was totally on board, if only his sister had even half the enthusiasm! Callie is absolutely me in the cat form, shes autistic and hates any form change and went out of her way to let me know was not having any of it. She gave me false hope on a few occasions but mostly she left me a gift at most front door every morning and nothing gets your mornings going like cleaning up cat mess before you can leave the house. I’ve now read a more cat forums that I’d like to admit and this will be a 2020 goal with a very different approach and time scale attached.

“If we start being honest about our pain, our anger, and our shortcomings instead of pretending they don’t exist, then maybe we’ll leave the world a better place than we found it.” – Russell Wilson

Mental health, this is such a taboo issue, which is unfortunate and sad. We will all be affected by mental health, our own or someone elses in our lifetime and yet we choose not to talk about it openly. This year has been a year that has tried me on every level possible, I’ve had more sense of humour failures than I can count and questioned my own sanity a number of times. Towards the end of the year, I realised that I needed to address a number of issues which were affecting my mental health if I wanted to be healthy. Progress is hard and addressing issues (painful or not) is never easy and takes determination but ultimately it’s been incredibly rewarding for me. I can see the progress that I’ve made, the feeling of weight being taken off my shoulders and it’s been incredibly enlightening in ways I didn’t even expect.

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2019 has been unique in so many ways, I didn’t find lasting love but I did find some very impressive DIY skills and now have a shed full of power tools (woohoo!). I learnt more about myself than I ever expected. I had some amazingly shit times (7 months being ill) but equally I had some really fun times, where I laughed until I cried, make up completely ruined. Oh and it turns out I’m a complete mini golf addict despite the fact that the more I play, the worse I somehow seem to get. I’m ready to go into 2020 with a positive attitude and a new respect for my needs and wants in life.

2019, where have you gone?

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

I cannot believe it is seriously almost June already?!?! I recently received this message, which reminded me that I’ve been neglecting blogging. It made me laugh but it was a reality check that it has literally been months since I put my preverbal pen to paper and a month later I’m taking action on the message. Screen Shot 2019-05-26 at 20.15.41

2019 and I have really haven’t gotten on. Last year, I knew coming into the year, that it was going to be a busy and challenging year, it has not disappointed in either area.  I literally am unable to tell you where the first half of the year has gone.

I’ve previously been told that expats find medical care in the Netherlands to a lower standard than they are previously use to. Unfortunately I started the year sick, I came back from Eastern Europe with what turned out to be a inner ear infection and strep throat. Frustratingly, this turned out to be a 13 week struggle to get antibiotics. For many years within Europe, antibiotics use lowest in the Netherlands and Dutch doctors prescribe the least antibiotics, which is a fantastic statistic that the country regularly likes to quote. However, when it comes to being sick, its incredibly frustrating not be able to get antibiotics when you know they serve a purpose and make you healthy again. My Dutch colleagues gave me the advice ‘to add another 2 weeks on to the length of time you’ve been ill, to ensure the doctor takes you seriously.’ I think any time its a national tip that you lie to your doctor to be taken seriously, there is a much bigger problem at the core of the system. The Dutch Doctors approach is to tell patients to take Paracetamol, for everything. Do you have pain? Take paracetamol. Do you feel bad? Take Paracetamol. Do you need an amputation? Take Paracetamol. This is a pain killer that I now loathe. At the peak of my sickness, I was taking dangerous amounts (without realising), however, I am still somewhere between laughing and being highly sarcastic, so clearly no damage was done at the time. However, what I did discover was that the paracetamol was actually covering/hiding my symptoms, meaning that the doctor didn’t feel it necessary to prescribe antibiotics at the time. The paracetamol worked in a way that I would feel bad for 3-5 days and then I’d feel better 2-4 days and so it carried on for weeks (12 before I could antibiotics). Essentially the first 3 months of the year were spent feeling like a death and wondering why in a first world country,  why sick people are made to suffer when an immediate health care solution is available. I summarised from this 3 months that Dutch doctors like to see people suffer – whilst this is an exaggeration and I’m sure not true for some Dutch doctors, it was a truly horrific experience for me that has put me off Dutch healthcare. I did get some antibiotics from my doctor at the 12 week mark, unfortunately they didn’t fully remedy my issues and I resorted to getting antibiotics from another source, which I think is utterly ridiculous. However, I was no longer prepared to suffer, continue to be ill or fight with my doctor for further medication.

Adulting, I’m doing a lot of it this year! After having turned 36 in February, Im officially on the wrong the side of 35 and the next stop is 40! For the last four years, I ran a very small charity working with vulnerable individuals in eastern Europe. At the beginning of this year, my fellow trustees and I am made the difficult decision to close the charity. This a hard decision but the right one. Its taken a few months to wind down the charity, complete all the paperwork and do the necessary things to close a registered charity. I’ve had an offer through my contacts to work with their organisation and I’m seriously considering it. I think I need a break first and to buy a house and be settled but I cant imagine not being involved in charity work, in one avenue or another.

I am currently in the process buying  property in the Netherlands. After 2 years of renting in Amstelveen, I’ve realised that I am a suburbanite through and through, I like of love suburbia. I equally love being close to the city but I adore the peace and quiet that you get from not being in the city. My cats need a garden and on nice days I want to sit in and ideally hear next to nothing, which doesn’t happen in the city. Its highly likely I will end up in Utrecht but I am looking at properties and areas within a short commute to Amsterdam. This has really been an interesting experience so far. Ive been stressed out, ready to pull my hair out and wondering why no customer service exists in this country. I completely understand why people say that purchasing a home is one of the most stressful events of your life.

 

2019 has so far has been crazy for me. I sadly dont see this changing for the next few months. Im hoping that the last quarter of the year is quiet or that 2020 will be ear marked for an utterly boring, quiet and uneventful year!

Going Dutch – Dating in the Netherlands

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

I am single and have been single for many years, I decided to dip my toe into the Dutch dating pool. This has been unique in many ways and most certainly a learning curve.

Here are the opinions from people around me on my single status and dating:

My mother:

  • ‘I’m ready for you to have a boyfriend, honestly, I was ready years ago for you to have a boyfriend. I’ve accepted that you are a crazy cat lady and wont give me grandchildren but at least give me someone else I can write about in the Christmas card.’

My friends:

  • ‘It could be that your standards are too high, have you considered having no standards?’
  • ‘I have no idea why you put so much effort into your personal appearance when you’re single, seems a waste to me.’
  • ‘For a lady whose had a complete stranger confess his love for her, I have no idea how or why you’re single’.
  • ‘For my own sake, I hope that you don’t find a boyfriend because listening to your dating stories leaves me in fits laughter to the point of tears. Hearing your experiences are always the highlight my week when I speak to you’.

My  colleagues

  • ‘Dutch men like a challenge, I’m surprised you’re single.’
  • ‘We’ve been asking around the office for you to see whose single and we’ve been putting out feelers for you.’ – I choked on my coffee when I heard this and then had to explain the, ‘you don’t sh!t where you eat’ theory. They laughed at this and assured me they are still on the look out, much to my horror.

My approach to dating

I recently watched on the Netflix Iliza Shlesinger – War Paint. This is hilarious on many levels and really explains the female approach to dating perfectly. I think that single men would benefit from watching this, just to have little bit more of helping hand with setting their own dating expectations. 

My approach is probably described as a guys/male mentality to dating. Im really relaxed, I absolutely don’t rush anything, I refuse to ever make the first move (unmale like, I know) on all levels and Im fiercely independent. I’m quite happy not to message a guy for days at a time. Guys need to chase me. I’m married to my job, I work long hours and am at my desk by 06:20 most mornings. I friendzone everyone as a starting point. If I like someone, I try my absolute best to put them off. I divulge and exaggerate my faults and if they hang around, they are probably worth a chance. I think if someone can accept my faults, they will be pleasantly surprised with my strengths. I know I’m a catch with a fantastic sense of humour and a fun imagination but I’m absolutely going to make the guy work for it (which I’m very honest about). It’s setting expectations from the beginning, there will always be elements of me that are awkward and difficult.

I thought I was really hard work and high maintenance before dating in the Netherlands, just look at the above. My experiences with Dutch women are that they like to be in utter control of every aspect of their relationships and their boyfriends lives. They expect guys to constantly text them, speak to their partners in a belittling way and not as equal (this can be regularly seen in any grocery store), manage every aspect of the guys life and are generally onerous. It reminds me of a strict mother with a 3-year-old, ‘you will do this’ and the 3 year old does it but instead it’s with a grown man. Turns out compared to a native woman, I’m super easy, relaxed and no effort at all. You’d think given my new ‘no effort’ status, it would be no problem finding a Dutch boyfriend, er, yeah, not quite. There are a lot of very humourous blogs about expat dating in the Netherlands. Here are a few that I could relate to and made me laugh:

How to Attract Dutch Men – I break 4 of these rules

what’s up with…Dutch men – This is interesting and Id agree on a few points

Five Differences Between British and Dutch Men – Stereotyped but true on many levels

The Netherlands and Dating: 6 things about dating the Dutch – Straight forward and apt

Lessons learnt dating in the Netherlands

Dutch guys: Lets start with the obvious, they are a entire breed of Zebra of their own. Three things that I almost instantly notice about Dutch guys: hair gel, cologne and grey socks. The amount of hair gel Dutch men seem to use, ensures that when light hits their hair, you have to instantly look away not to be permanently blinded by the shine. I also think this is a potential fire hazard but fear for my own safety to ever test this theory. Cologne, I can only imagine that it’s purchased by the litre, as it seems as though they bath in it. Sometimes the cologne is so strong that you need to hold your breath, to stop from gagging on the overwhelming smell. It reminds me of the skunk from Looney Tunes, Pepé Le Pew, who leaves a path of fumes where-ever he goes. Grey socks, like brown shoes, are the choice of the Dutch man. Given how the clothing choices can be less than exciting, I’m always secretly hopeful that they will show some of sort of fun with their socks, so far I am yet to be pleasantly surprised.

Apps: Being a young(ish) person, dating apps seem the way to go. I’ve been on my fair share and still have a semi-active profile. I’ve chatted to and met a number of guys from apps. There seems to be two types of Dutch guys on the apps, those who simply want to chat and will never meet (but fail to tell you this or admit it) and those who will meet you but want to do it instantly before they even know how to pronounce your name or you are able to determine what colour socks they wear. If you can find someone in the middle, well done! What I enjoy about apps are the profiles, the really honest ones that are so straightforward that it’s weird and bordering on cringeworthy. Dont get me wrong, there are hundreds if not thousands of really bad profiles but they’re boring and instantly forgettable, by the time you’ve swiped left, you’ve already forgotten them. I also appreciate honest messages that make you giggle and cringe. Here are two examples, one straightforward cringey profile and another of a message that I received. I did not swipe right on the profile despite its directness and honesty or making me laugh, nor did I respond to the message even though I do smell nice.

Profile     message

Dating: I know I shouldn’t admit this but I enjoy dating, even if it goes off path. Dutch men like to go to the cinema, which seems odd to me, given that there is little opportunity to talk during a film, fine if you’re like on date 3+ but for an initial date, it seems, odd. My preferred date is a place (museum, exhibit, zoo, etc), as it’s a great way to see what levels of commonality that you. If you have nothing in common, at least you have something else to look at, things around you that create conversation and you’re not just stuck looking awkward across the table from someone. I have also had several moments of ‘Dutch directness’ where I literally thought to myself, ‘did he seriously just say that?!?’. These instances covered topics from personal looks and appearance, being a foreigner, speaking the language, to random other things. I’ve found in these situations its best to smile and change the subject quickly, some things are best ignored. Or at least ignored until I chat to my friends about it and we laugh about it, a lot. Luckily I do a good enough job vetting the guys (making them prove they deserve a date) before I meet them that I haven’t had any truly horrific dates, just a couple of quite awkward ones where I politely decline a second date.

Whatsapp : The death of conversations. The dating world is obsessed with Whatsapp, I am less so. Normally within three app messages from a guy, I get ‘add me on Whatsapp, my number is X.’ This is the point where I politely decline. Sadly I have made the mistake several times of adding individuals on the Whap and regretted it pretty quickly. The Whap has taught me that Dutch men get needy pretty quickly, I can only imagine this is as a result of dating Dutch women and the expectation is set that they must text frequently with checkins. As stated above, Im really good at not instantly replying or not sending messages for days at a time. My lack of instant response drives Dutch guys nuts to the point that I get messages that say, ‘I can see you’re online, why aren’t you replying to me?’, ‘I can see you’ve read my message, do you have no response?’ and ‘why aren’t you messaging me?’. These are a of the few examples of messages Ive received, it’s just too needy to me. I could never imagine sending anyone such messages, we’re all adults, we all have lives, we work, nothings on fire, we’re not in a defined relationship, like what’s the rush? The next backward step seems to be that you can have somewhat of a proper conversation over an app and once you move to the Whap, it’s like guys now expect the female to create every conversation and provide one word responses. I think this could relate back Dutch girls dictating how the conversation will go and just seeking acknowledgement of what shes saying rather than a two way conversation. My experience is that Whatsapp is the killer of conversations because of either the expectation that I need constant messaging and I will respond instantly or the guys lack of ability to have a in-depth conversations.

These experiences have made dating in the Netherlands, interesting, unique and different. I think that it helps/hampers that I’m generally happy in my life, I have no interest to change who I am (or how frequently I respond to messages) or to be with someone for the sake of it. I have met and dated some nice guys, blocked a few numbers, made a few friends and even turned down opportunities to have relationships. Since dating in the Netherlands, my own ideas of what I thought I wanted and needed have changed entirely. I’m in the best head space with dating Ive been in years, I’m aware and honest with what I want and what my expectations are. I also believe that if something is meant to be, it will, no matter what the differences are that we might have. I have no doubt that I will continue to have experiences that I will find humourous in the strangest of ways and honestly, I dont mind, as long as Im laughing.

1 Year in the Netherlands

~ Emme ~ Leave a comment

It’s officially been 365 days, an entire year, since I moved to the Netherlands. What a year, its had it’s up and downs and I can say unreservedly that its been an adventure.

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Brexit: This is the gift that just keeps giving, much like an STD. I literally have no idea what my future holds or what will happen with Brexit. I moved from England as I didn’t want to live in a country that isn’t a member of the EU, my opinion on this has not changed. I can see that the UK has changed as a result of Brexit and most certainly not for the better. I can only hope that I will continue to have EU freedom of movement and live in Netherlands or wherever the wind takes me.

Expat Life: I have now been a dirty foreigner living abroad for over 18 years, officially, Ive lived abroad longer than I lived in my birth country. I think it makes it easier to adapt but equally I will always feel like a foreigner no matter where I live. Being an expat means I tend to attract other expats, we have common ground. It’s great to be able to share experiences that natives/locals can’t relate to or haven’t experienced themselves. I’ve met some amazing expats living here in the Netherlands and I’m proud to be able to call them friends. I created a social group in Amstelveen, I’ve never hosted so many dinner parties, given baking lessons, or responded to so many Whatsapp/Facebook messages in my life. I’m not so proud to admit that I’m occasionally so busy that I have to book people in my diary weeks in advance, like a true Dutch person.

Art and Culture: There is more to the Netherlands than tulips and wood shoes. I love the fact that every weekend I have the opportunity to do things. At least two weekends in every four, I am taking advantage of my museum card and exploring. I’ve seen some amazing exhibits, museums, castles, things that left me in tears with laughter and I’ve equally seen things that were less than impressive. The Stedelijks in Amsterdam is by far my favourite modern art museum and if ever I have a spare hour in the city, this is where you’ll find me. Despite visiting a number of the large cities, Amsterdam is still my favourite. Forgetting the tourist, drugs and the Red Light District (I understand it can be hard to overlook these), it’s a city with history, heritage and so much to see and do.

Dating: This has truly been interesting for me. As with most things in my life, its been comically funny, not all good but most certainly funny. There are a number of blogs about dating in the Netherlands and how its a challenge for expats. Having personally experienced it, I agree. I’ve decided to do a separate blog dedicated to being single and my dating experiences rather than take up paragraphs here – watch this space.

Working with Dutchies: This has been an experience! I have to admit that I’m incredibly lucky to work with the people that I do, my wider team are fantastic. We all laugh, a lot, occasionally even being told off for laughing too loudly or worse, having too much fun in the office. They say I’ve corrupted them, I think this could be true.

There are three things that stick out to me the most about Dutch office life, the elevator, the coffee machine and sandwiches.

  • The Elevator – Being British means I’m reserved, no eye contact is generally made (ok, this could be my functioning autism coming out too) but you most certainly don’t talk to people in the elevator, oh sweet Jesus, no! Ideal British elevator interaction, THERE IS NONE, we all ignore each other listening to our headphones, happy days! I also like to think having my headphones in is a sign that I’m not approachable but NO, this does not deter the Dutch. Apparently stranger danger isn’t applicable in a Dutch elevator and strangers talk to each other, in EVERY elevator. I’ve now become the kind of person that if I see someone getting in the elevator, I walk that little bit slower to avoid having to get in the elevator with them and have any form of conversation. Honestly, its kind of nice that people talk to each other, on the other hand, it’s really weird (het is echt vreemd, hoor!) and goes against all my British instincts. What I also love, quite adore in fact, is watching the Dutchies completely checking themselves out in the elevator mirrors, you can see it in their face and then all of the personal adjustments that follow suit. I would honestly say my experience is like 8 out of 10 people will do it. I take the attitude that if I don’t know what I look like by the time I get in the office elevator, there’s no hope left for me or point in looking in the mirror, it’s just too late.
  • The Coffee Machine – this is the mecca for office chat, its like a beacon that draws people in. I’ve never quite seen anything like it. Apparently chatting at your desks isn’t the done thing, no, you save it, you wait, you hold it all in until you go to the coffee machine. This makes me grateful that my first coffee of the day is hours before anyone gets in and then 10am caffeine fix is provided by Starbucks. I break all the rules and force people to talk to me at my desk or theirs and then completely ignore them if I’m walking by the coffee machine. Sometimes you have the be cruel to be kind. Yet somehow, despite this, people in my office seem to really like me and go out of their way to chat to me, away from the coffee machine.
  • Sandwiches – a serious dutch lunch. Never get between a Dutch person and their sandwich (or play hide and seek with them, lesson learnt for me!). Everyone arrives at the office with their homemade sandwiches in a plastic bag and consumes them throughout the day. Breakfast, snack, and lunch, all sandwiches. My colleagues don’t understand how I can eat a homemade chicken salad most days and look at me, look at my salad and then back to me and just shake their heads. The irony being I do the same at their sandwiches. I also eat a yogurt every morning for breakfast in the office, which also breaks the above sandwich rule.

 

Two wheels: I really enjoy cycling. Words, I would have never thought I’d ever say. Being knocked off my bike by a car was an experience I hope to never re-experience but sadly is a common occurrence in a country full of bikes and cars. I have an app that I create routes and explore the local area with. I enjoy being able to cycle the days frustrations out or attempt to anyway. I still think Dutch people who take a leisurely 40-60 ride are nuts ball crazy though, that’s not leisurely at all.

Even after a year, these things still do not seem normal to me.

  • I find this more funny than rude but its the way that men in the elevator will not make eye contact but rather you see their eyes going from my red lipstick to my chest and then back and forth at least two times. My colleague and I laugh about this most days, it’s a common occurrence and so obvious. Honestly, I do have to stop myself from bending down and staring at their crotch as a ‘return the look’.
  • Customer service – This country literally has none. I think I’m more surprised whenever I actually come across any.
  • Paracetamol does not solve the worlds illnesses, unless you’re in the Netherlands.
  • Rain! ZOMGs! So much rain! Having lived in England, I thought I knew rain but no, just no! I think on average it rains something like 30 minutes everyday, that’s a lot of rain.
  • Dog excrement. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not pro-dog but seriously, its disgusting that people just don’t clean up after their dogs, at all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with a dog bag. It’s just a thousand levels of  laziness and grossness.
  • Sleeping badly – this seems to be a problem experienced by many expats living here. I can honestly say that I’ve had maybe 3 seriously decent nights of sleep since moving here. My nightly routine now includes taking melatonin before bed.
  • Brown shoes – brown shoes are everywhere, it’s almost like everyone is colour blind to any colour except brown. The silver lining of getting into a busy elevator is then looking at everyones shoes and 9 out of 10 will be brown.
  • Dutch fashion – this is a wide and varied topic and something that brings me amusement every day but the Dutch most certainly have their own sense of style and fashion. I hope that I never lose my sense of non-Dutch style and fashion.
  • ‘Ah-zo’! – this is a noise that Dutch people make. Generally it takes one person to say it and then the domino effect happens and then everyone is saying it. I guess I can only describe it as what they say when they are trying to fill a silence.  It’s just so weird to me and I don’t get it but it does make me laugh.
  • Compliments – Dutch people don’t give compliments. I give loads! If you look nice, smell nice, or anything nice, I’ll let you know. Turns out that my colleagues LOVE this about me. My cleaner and I were having a discussion about compliments and she says compliments just aren’t Dutch, she never gives any and finds it awkward if she feels she needs to or if people give them to her.

 

My version of the Dutch language has most certainly improved over the year. To be fair, it really couldn’t have gotten much worse. As standard with a second language, I understand more than I speak. I know that I speak Dutchlish (mixing Dutch and English) and that I speak it with such a thick English accent that people look either confused or laugh. I had an experience in Utrecht at a museum, where the lady asked if I wanted her to speak in Dutch or English and I did my usual, ‘it doesnt mater, either is fine’ in Dutch, so she proceeded in Dutch, awesome. I responded to her questions in Dutch, she then stopped me mid-sentence with a look of seeing either a pig that had grown wings and was flying or seeing a genuine unicorn riding over a magical rainbow and said , ‘Wow, you are a real British person aren’t you?’. This made me laugh, mostly because British people arent rare (entire country of them) and proved the point that my Dutch really is Dutchlish!

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This year I’ve experienced more snow than Ive seen in 25 years (the blizzard of 1993!), Ive become more social than Ive ever been and Ive laughed so much. I wont lie, it has also been tough, Ive come across challenges I didn’t expect and I still have no idea what or where my future lies. Its been a very interesting 365 days and it will be more interesting to see what the next 365 hold in store for me.